Dude Looked at Me All Crazy Like So I Wanted to Walk But I DidnBartender for Hire...After Learning Me Some Drinks't Because the Job Wasn't Done

Kicked a dude in the stones last night. Yeah, it hurt. Him! Fools should not mess with the code of the Double Deuce. And that's just a fact, Jack.

Also, a dude who is kicking ass and not even bothering to take name afterwards he's so cool, well, sometimes, is the man himself, comedian Mike Doe. My friend and protege.

Adventures below:

Bartender for Hire...After Learning Me Some Drinks
Beer Is for Breakfast Around Here, Drink or Be Gone
The Simpsons Movie Is the Funniest Movie of All Time
Perfecting My Pour in 48 Hours...Or Less!
Pouring Rain...and Drinks...and a New Gig

This Job Truly Ain't Ever Done, If You Get My Twitter

Mike Doe now jokes at http://twitter.com/mikedoe.

Change Is Good, Even When It's Bad

Finishing a job is important. Equally important is walking away immediately after. Don't believe it? Then ask Vanilla Ice. That fool should have retired immediately after "Ice, Ice Baby." The job was done, he didn't walk, and now he's an international buffoon...without any money to show for it.

So learn from Vanilla Ice and repeat after me, "When the job's done, I walk."

Knife Attacks Increase the Longer You're at a Bar

Knife attacks are a frequent, daily occurence in a bouncer's life, especially in Jasper, Missouri. That's why it's best that when the job's done, I walk.

Walking Away from a Job Well Done

This is pure satisfaction, let me tell you. Especially when you manage to walk away without having to rip anyone's throat out. That's pure Zen baby.

Always Walk from a Job, Don't Run

...or you might trip and stumble on the steps. And that would be counterproductive. Plus it's not very cool. And might mess up the feathers in your hair.

When the Job's Done, I Walk

We have all stayed on too long at a job. And it's always bad news.

That's why I created my motto: When the Job's Done, I walk.

I kid you not.

Learn this rule, live it, love it.

Or you'll pay the price.

Trust me, for I am Dalton.